In no particular order:
1. Frosting. Admit it—there are times when you get a jonesing for frosting and nothing else will do. Ann, who calls herself a pie lover, once made a detour to Safeway because she had a frosting craving that would not, could not be denied.
2. Cupcakes. Who doesn’t love one? Remember the cupcake wars between Magnolia Bakery and Buttercup Bake Shop in NYC? I have yet to hear of any kind of pie inspiring such passion. And no wonder. Cupcakes aren’t just a tasty treat—they’re adorable. If you weren’t so busy devouring them, you’d probably be breastfeeding them.
3. You can make cake right out of a box. It’s simple. Hence the Easy Bake oven. Ever made a pie to the wattage of a light bulb? I bet it didn’t taste so hot.
4. There’s no such thing as birthday pie. Or wedding pie. Hallelujah amen to that.
5. Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. It’s the perfect combination of ice cream, fluffy cake and chocolate crunchies. You get all the flavor and texture you’d want in a dessert.
6. You don’t see strippers jumping out of giant pies. That’s because they would drown in the fruity filling.
7. The range of textures, from light & fluffy (angel food) to dense (cheesecake). See, cake is the truly egalitarian dessert. There’s something for everyone. And you’ll never get bored eating it. Unlike pie, where bite after bite is pretty much the same, plus or minus some crust.
8 . “Let them eat pie” doesn’t have the same ring to it. Luckily, “shut your cakehole” doesn’t, either.
9. Different layers = different flavors = party in your mouth. Imagine how boring wedding cakes would be without the different layers of flavor. Half the time spent planning a wedding is based on picking the cake. Or at least, it should be.
10. Fruitcake can survive nuclear war. And if you survived too, you’d be desperate enough to eat it. Maybe.
Ok, pie lovers, bring it on…