Good Stuff Eatery Marshmallow Milkshake

Mr. X-sXe wanted to get an IV that would pump this directly into his system.

Mr. X-sXe wanted to get an IV fitted that would pump this directly into his system.

I bet they serve this stuff in heaven. It’s that good. It’s so good that as a lactose-intolerant minority person (milk is one of the worst offenders for me), I sipped it with reckless abandon at quantities Lactaid wasn’t designed to handle–repercussions be damned. The thing that makes the milkshake to end all milkshakes is this: there are actual toasted marshmallows blended into the shake. You can see the blackish-brown remnants throughout. Remember making s’mores as a kid? Who gave a crap about the graham cracker or Hershey’s bar? The best part’s just eating the burnt, melty marshmallow off a twig you found in the woods.


Mr. X-sXe has been jonesing to try this shake, since he was very fond of the marshmallow shake from Dairy Queen that was discontinued decades ago. After his first sip, he was rendered speechless for a moment. Then he started going off about how he could taste the campfire in the shake. Then he made the most startling declaration of all: “This is as good as Caramelita*!” So even though I initially had no interest in trying it, I did. And I couldn’t stop. In fact, Mr. X-sXe eyed the cup nervously as the shake level moved lower and lower with my every sip. If you order it, get your own. Because it’s a party in your mouth that you won’t want to invite anyone to.


 *Our all-time favorite cake from the now-defunct DC branch of Les Halles.


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