18
Apr
11

Desserts at the Royal Wedding might suck

British food is an easy target. But I’ve always been a fan of British desserts, even if they’re called things like spotted dick.

So it was with disappointment that I learned the 2 cakes slated for the royal buffet don’t sound particularly appetizing. If royalty can’t have good cake at their wedding, what does that mean for your average British commoner?

The main cake will  be a traditional fruitcake that supposedly gets better with age because it’s made with brandy. From People:

Cairns, 56, sent samples of different fruit cakes to William and Kate, who chose their favorite, and she has now started baking to allow the cakes the necessary four weeks to mature.

“Age” and “mature”: words I associate more often with stinky cheese than anything cake-like. This fruitcake sounds impossibly rich and bowel-moving, not something you’d want to stick in the freezer to savor bit by bit.

Photo from dyingforchocolate.blogspot.com.

The other cake, by William’s request, is a chocolate-cookie cake being made by McVitie’s biscuit company. You might be thinking Mrs. Field’s, but in this case, the “cake” will be made of 1,700 of their Rich Tea biscuits (cookies that actually are actually pretty plain) and almost 40 pounds of chocolate. Interesting, but it reminds me of a recipe you’d make for an office potluck, like these inexplicably addictive saltine candies.

Photo from dezeen.com

Finally, Kate has apparently requested that Snog frozen yogurt be served. That I can get behind, as long as there’s an extensive toppings bar to go with it.

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